Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
