His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
