Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
