so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
