What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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