Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
