This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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