Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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