she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
