god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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