And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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