How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
