Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
