Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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