I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
