question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just invented taco cereal.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
