This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
