you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm sobbing to NWA
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
