I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
