Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
what day is it and did you see me today?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
