I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
