i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Randomize
