Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
