I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
