dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
