so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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