Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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