This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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