it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
