you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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