sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
