I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
