is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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