is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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