everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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