I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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