I smell stomach acid.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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