I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
