how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
