Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
