I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
