I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
