apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
There r osticjed everywhere
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Randomize
