I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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