i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
