he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
