I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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