is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
