Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
