My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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