Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
