i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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